It could be said that I am a season-to-season kind of person.
From winter to summer, there is always something new and exciting to learn. Kind of like a fresh start and this year was no exception.
But while I was setting my goals for 2025, my husband had a request. He was gentle with his words and asked me to go an entire year saying, no!
To explain, he knew I needed to focus and what followed was pretty remarkable.
Saying No Over the Winter
When the new year began, I was excited because my goals were set and they felt achievable.
But there was this "no, thing" to deal with.
In the beginning, it wasn't difficult because it was winter, a time when I sort of hibernate.
This is normally my season to rest but looking back I was in the process of publishing my book, Garden Up Green.
I didn't have the time or energy to help anyone because that project was running past a deadline.
It had to get done, saying no to anyone was easy and I said it often.
This was good because I trained myself into forming a habit without even thinking about it.
Saying No Over Spring
Then came spring, one of my favorite seasons because everything is waking up and the temperatures are perfect.
My book was published; I was reaching many of the goals I had set for the year, and I was preparing to shift my workload outdoors.
So, I went from hibernating at the desk to physical activity outside.
My energy level was incredible and once again I just didn't have time for a lot of interaction.
Saying "no" really wasn't a big deal.
So here we are halfway into the year, and I am rocking this "no" thing. I was even bragging to my husband how easy it was.
The best part, I had a clear head, I wasn't being pulled into anything, but I was keeping to myself more than normal.
Saying No Over Summer
When summer arrived, I noticed that being more social was necessary and a shift surfaced. Saying no became more difficult.
My habit was breaking, and I wish there was a good explanation because at the time I was baffled.
I went 6 months with no difficulties and the minute I became social, this inability to say no surfaced.
I tried avoiding it, but you can only ignore things for so long; that's when I decided maybe it's not that I say no, just be selective.
That didn't work either, so I broke it down and decided "no" was bottled in fear. Fear of conflict, fear of rejection and possibly fear of anxiety.
Bottom line, saying no is emotional. That's when it clicked and it all became about the ask.
You know what I am talking about, it's that big question that comes running towards you like a bolt of lightning.
No matter how you respond, it doesn't end well and that's because the ask wasn't even about you from the very beginning.
Saying No Over the Fall
When fall arrived, I sat down and took an inventory on how I was doing.
There were several slips that went from "yes" to "no" and that was okay because I grew in those moments.
I was making progress and recognized the freedom that came from being truthfully honest while saying no.
Saying "no" to things that really were not of interest because they didn't align with my life or more importantly what God wants for my life.
When December began, I recognized that for every "no" a negative door closed.
What has followed, a new door opening towards something positive.
Something really good.
I challenge you - if you are always trying to help where you are probably not being appreciated - stop!
Saying "no" for an entire year was bold; at times it was hard, but it taught me the key to growing towards something great.
Encouraging Goodness,
Carole West
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